Safe vs brave space in circle facilitation
What may prevent someone attending a circle for the first time is a feeling of nervousness. They may not know what to expect and feel anxious.
What can we do as facilitators to support someone to feel brave enough to attend and hopefully to share?
The term ‘safe space’ has almost become overused to become meaningless. We know that if someone states “This is a safe space”, it doesn’t automatically mean that it is! The concept of ‘brave space’ has also been suggested, but what do these terms really mean and is it just semantics?
In this article, we consider the background to these terms and then provide some tips to circle facilitators on how to get started with building a strong container for your gathering. (NB. We have used different terms for a talking circle in this article, including sharing circle, conversation circle and listening circle.) Should we start to talk about ‘intentional’ space instead?
Where do the concepts come from?
There’s lots of literature about safe spaces in educational settings, to ensure that a certain category of person who has experienced harm in the past doesn’t come to emotional or physical harm now. For example, North Carolina State University says, “we actively try to reach open dialogue about hard topics so all sides can be expressed without fear of exclusion or discrimination”.
The concept of ‘safe space’ is also associated with counselling and providing a psychological place away from abuse, often provided by charities such as Safe Space for sexual abuse in childhood.
The use of ‘brave space’ has also come through educational settings more recently to acknowledge that we can’t guarantee safety but do our best with all our humanness to engage with others without harm. There are lots of suggestions about the ‘pillars’ of brave spaces that are similar to the guidelines shared by talking circle facilitators, for example the 6 pillars described by Social Work Department of Maryland University.
“People aren’t brave because of the fear of being judged.”
Brene Brown talks about how to build the courage to have brave spaces in leadership teams. She says from the research she’s conducted (see podcast episode), people aren’t brave because of the fear of being judged, of not being believed and of being given advice. The data show that if we can listen, just listen, not even empathize, we can create braver spaces for sharing.
Creating brave spaces in sharing circles
In talking circles our intention for what the space will feel like is paramount. We want to create a space where respectful talk and deep listening can occur. This may enable participants to share experiences they’ve never shared before or experience how vulnerability can be a strength in a supportive space. Having explicit guidelines for the gathering is paramount and may include:
Confidentiality: What is said in circle stays in circle
Respectful listening: One person speaks at a time
Respectful speaking: Reflecting on what is relevant and speaking from “I”
A non-fixing space where participants can be empowered to speak without solutions automatically being offered.
Co-creating guidelines with others who will be attending can be a good way to create a feeling of safety and inclusion. As facilitators, we share our intention for the space and give the opportunity for others to share how they would like the gathering to happen: this creates an intentional space where there are no guarantees, but transparency and trust if you get it right.
This is covered in depth in the Circle Holding: A Practical Guide to Facilitating Talking Circles book. See more about it here.
The role of the facilitator in creating intentional space
As well as considering practical issues like the suitability of a venue (will you be overlooked or overheard?), the circle host plays a critical role in how a circle will unfold. To be able to create a strong container for an intentional space, the facilitator needs to be clear about their ethics and values in relation to leadership as they are in a position of power.
If the circle is co-created, with a shifting host, the locus of power may move but this does not mean it is necessarily equal. Another factor is whether the circle host is well resourced in the sense of being in a state of alert relaxation, which is ideal for social engagement, or is managing challenges in their own nervous system. Having regular listening partnerships or supervision may be one way of boosting self-resources, as well as attending a circle as a participant.
It’s essential that the circle host is self-aware and regularly reflects on the impact of their own wellbeing and life circumstances, to determine whether they have the capacity to hold space for others. Being properly reimbursed for the role of hosting is part of this and more can be read about different models of payment in this article.
Recommendations for creating an intentional space
Provide a clear explanation of what will happen in the circle in marketing material
Offer a way to ask questions of the circle host
Choose a location where you won’t be overlooked or overheard (if online, privacy will be the responsibility of the participant too)
Provide clear guidelines for the circle event and co-create the guidelines wherever possible - communicate your intention for the gathering
Give space within circle time to reflect on the process and how it feels for the participants
Don’t aim for massive transformations and insights, but pace the circle process so participants are less likely to go too deep too fast.
Don’t promise things that are impossible to guarantee
Find support for your nervous system as the facilitator (e.g. exercise, supervision, listening partnerships)
Have a reflective practice to learn from the practice of facilitation (e.g. a Professional Reflective Circle)
I hope this has given you some food for thought. As a circle host, we can ensure we prepare well, communicate our intentions, and be responsive to what the participants feedback. Let me know what you think by emailing me.